Mairi's Story
“Since my earliest memories, anxiety has been a constant companion, making me feel like I never quite fit in. There were moments when exhaustion gripped me without reason. At 35, following a breakup and the loss of my home, I was diagnosed with depression. Despite trying various antidepressants, none seemed to alleviate my symptoms. I vacillated between feeling like an imposter and being engulfed by despair. Every couple of years, I’d buy a house , punctuated by car purchases, until bankruptcy loomed. It wasn’t until I turned 50 in 2020 that I received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I feel sad at the years lost to undiagnosed struggles. Now, with medication, albeit still adjusting, I find some relief.
Since my diagnosis, life has become somewhat more manageable with the assistance of medication and a deeper understanding of my conditions and how to navigate them. I’ve ceased my habit of purchasing homes and cars, thanks to financial support from my children, yet occasional spending sprees during hypomanic episodes still occur. It’s been a journey to grant myself forgiveness for past strange behaviours, though the guilt of my illness affecting my children during their formative years remains heavy. However, finding solace in the support of family and friends who are aware of my diagnosis brings a sense of relief.”
