Laura's Story
“I was suffering from terrible depression in late 2009 after a spell of great health. Unknown to me that the great health I had experienced was in fact a manic episode. I saw a locum GP who was fantastic. She listened to me – she really took time to listen to me. She said I was depressed and I started on my first ever anti-depressant at the age of 24. I went on to decline in health both ways: my downs were deep and my ups were high. I then tried two other antidepressants but nothing was helping.
In early 2010 I tried to kill myself. My locum GP sent me to see a psychiatrist. He deemed I was fine (cause I was! I was working full time and managing life). But by the summer I was not great. My locum GP went on maternity leave and I saw another GP who said she and the locum GP thought I had bipolar, so I was being referred back to the psychiatrist. I saw the psychiatrist late 2010 and at the age of 25 I had a diagnosis of Bipolar Affective Disorder (Bipolar) Type 1. I started on a mood stabiliser the next month. Then followed more meds in respect of an anti-psychotic. Today I’m on the original mood stabiliser I was prescribed in 2010 but changed original anti-psychotic in 2016 to something else.
Life since my diagnosis has been very very challenging. I keep fighting and rebelling against the diagnosis. I’m slowly coming around to it. You could say I’m stubborn. I’ve lost friends, my work, fun in life but most of all I feel I have lost who I am, who I was and who I’ll never be again. I feel like the meds either zombify me or make no difference at all. I’m trying to be positive and live a good life but it’s challenging. I have come across discrimination when going for jobs, so I feel lost in the working world- will I ever work again? I’m trying to keep busy but it’s difficult when you have few friends (true friends). But life must go on 🙂
There are always positives…. I joined a Bipolar Scotland group and I go along most of the time. I’ve met amazing people through this group. I’ve joined mental health groups. Again met amazing people. I’ve volunteered for the last 12 years. I’ve had various roles. So I’ve not just sat and taken the pile of nonsense that the bipolar head tells me. I’m kinda proactive if you like :)”
